I (f/30) had a baby 5 weeks ago and live long distance from my in laws. MiL is coming into town next week to visit/meet baby and wants to take him all over town for an entire day without me. He is exclusively breast fed and does not take a bottle, he will only eat for a few seconds then screams and looks for breast. He has never been away from me and gets worked up and fussy when I leave the room for more than a few minutes. He is happy and healthy but very attached to me which is don’t think is unreasonable for being exclusively breastfed and only 5 weeks. MIL has told my partner multiple times that he needs to make me put baby on a bottle so she can take him and that I do not know what’s best for the baby (this is her first grandbaby but baby #3 for me so I am not new to this). They say I am trying to keep the baby from her and I’m selfish for thinking it’s too early for him to be away for an entire day. No one on my side of the family has had him by themselves. He has never been anywhere without me. I am happy to let her have all the time with him that she wants as long as we are all in the same place. She is not familiar with the area and has not communicated where their hotel is, what they will be doing, where they’re going, or how long she wants him just that she wants him by herself “for the entire day” specifically without me. I’m getting alarm bells and red flags from the entire situation. My partner has said “I will not be with someone that would keep my baby from my mom and be so selfish.” But I’m just trying to protect my infant. I told them they can spend all the time with him that they want and I won’t interfere unless he needs to eat or gets too worked up. AITAH??
EDIT:
My answer is unequivocally no. She cannot take my baby anywhere. Thanks for the support 🤗
More detail: they are from a Caribbean country where there are many cultural differences as well as language barrier so I did not see the red flags until I was very pregnant. I have only met MIL in person once a few years ago and she put the crazy away for that occasion. He said many times throughout my pregnancy that he wanted the baby born in his “home” rather than here in the states where we live but I made clear that was not feasible. He has also expressed that he wants to take baby back to his home country to learn his language and culture at some point.
I fear that he and MIL are plotting something behind my back but I have been told I’m being controlling, manipulative, dramatic, and selfish so many times in the past week that I think I’m losing my grip. Am I actually seeing the signs I’m seeing and do I need to be reacting as strongly as I am? I will not be letting baby out of my sight and she will be lucky to see baby at all with the way she is behaving. Is that too overbearing or just being a protective mother?
…I haven’t gotten enough sleep for this…
