My daughter (18F) just finished her first year of college, and unfortunately, she ended the year with a 1.7 GPA. This disqualifies her from receiving financial aid moving forward due to not meeting Satisfactory Academic Progress standards.
To her credit, she was completely honest with me about the situation, which I really appreciated. She didn’t try to lie or shift the blame. She admitted that she didn’t take college seriously enough, got distracted, and didn’t put in the effort. I was disappointed, but I respected her for being upfront with me.
My daughter has always been an intelligent young woman, so this drop came as a surprise. There wasn’t any significant hardship during the school year that she told me about, and again, she was honest in saying she just didn’t try as hard as she should have.
Her father passed away in 2020. While that might sound like something that would deeply impact someone, the truth is he was never present in her life. They had no relationship, and when he passed, it didn’t really affect her emotionally. She’s even acknowledged that herself.
But now, for the SAP appeal, she’s asking me for a copy of his death certificate, with the intent of saying that his passing caused depression and academic decline. I feel really uncomfortable with this. It’s not true, and it feels dishonest. I’ve told her that I think she should take responsibility and own up to her choices. Yes, it’s unlikely the appeal will be approved since SAP appeals are specifically based on hardships or circumstances you couldn’t control during the academic year, and she’s already admitted this wasn’t one of those cases.
She’s upset with me because financial aid covered everything this year, and she even got a refund check both semesters. She told me I’m being selfish because this is too important to use as a lesson learned. I understand she’s scared and stressed, and I do feel terrible that she’s in this situation. But at the same time, I believe we have to raise our children to face the consequences of their actions, not teach them to lie their way out of them. I told her if it doesn’t get appealed, she can take out private loans and work to raise her gpa and regain financial aid in the spring.
TLDR: My daughter failed to meet SAP requirements after a bad first year of college. She admitted it was her fault, but now wants to use her estranged father’s 2020 death as an excuse in her appeal. WIBTA if I refused to give her the death certificate because I want her to take responsibility instead of lying?
EDIT: THIS IS NOT HER FIRST WARNING. SHE WAS ON ACADEMIC PROBATION AFTER HER FALL SEMESTER, SHE ENDED WITH A 1.9 GPA. IT DROPPED TO A 1.7 AFTER SPRING SEMESTER
