I’m a 28 year old African woman working in a decent job as a teacher. I’m not rich, but I’m doing okay. Ever since I started working, I’ve been expected to help out my extended family, paying for groceries, covering school fees for cousins, sending money to my mom monthly, etc.
In our culture, it’s seen as a duty, what people call “Black tax.” I understood this growing up. I’ve helped where I could. But lately it’s become too much. My siblings now expect me to cover everything, and my mom doesn’t say no to them. I’m expected to help with bills, car repairs, and now even a wedding contribution for my younger cousin’s wedding.
I finally said, “No more.” I’ve started saving for my own life, therapy, travel, and a deposit for my own apartment. I told my family that I’m not a bank, and they need to start standing on their own feet. I told my mom I will only help with the needs and she cried. My aunt called me “whitewashed.” My brother said I’ve become selfish and forgotten where I came from🤦🏽♀️
But I’ve spent years putting their needs first. I’ve missed opportunities, drained my savings, and lived paycheck to paycheck while they bought new phones and clothes. I still love them. But I’m tired of carrying everyone.
AITA for choosing myself?