I don't post very much on reddit, but I needed to get this one there. Using a burner because why not. I (36M) have three kids with my wife (30F). Things have been generally good between the two of us, but there's been some conflict between the two of us regarding her tendency to exaggerate when she's angry, as well as some of her personal beliefs. You see, my wife has gotten into her religion in a really big. We're both from the same church, but she's big into the faith healing stuff. You know, those "healing services" some megachurches do where they "lay hands" and "speak in tongues". I didn't grow up with that in church as a kid, and found it really weird, but put up with it for her. So we recently went to another one of those events, around five days ago.
When the service ended, she said she wanted to bring our second kid for the healing service the next night (it would take place over two nights), as he had been having a really bad skin condition on his ankles. I expressed doubt about it, because the event had been really crowded and ended quite late into the night, around 10 p.m. I really didn't want my kid to be out so late and to be exposed to so many people in a confined space, many of whom were ill and also seeking healing. My wife went really quiet, and with what felt like some degree of iciness pointed out to a group of people. "See those people? They came all the way from Indonesia. Look at how far their faith has brought them." I just shrugged, not picking up on her cue, then responded with something like asking where they were staying if they were from out of town. She didn't answer.
Once we got into the car, she exploded at me. She said a lot of things that were honestly pretty nasty. She berated me for "not caring" about the kid, for "not being a leader", for "not being sincere" in my faith, and so on. I was pretty surprised, and then got really angry. But I didn't raise my voice. I just said I knew she was stressed about the kid, but to please be calm about this and we could talk about it later. She continued berating me as I drove us out of the parking garage, trying my best not to get even more distracted. About 10 minutes later, she stops talking and is only looking out of the window.
Then halfway on the road home, she suddenly takes her seatbelt off and demands to be let out. I ask her if she's crazy, stating it's almost 11 at night. She demands I let her out and starts hitting the steering wheel. I pull over, not wanting to get into an accident. She continues to hit the steering wheel, then starts hitting me, yelling "You useless man" over and over. Then she storms out of the car and slams the door hard, walking away from me. I follow slowly behind her, obviously not wanting her to get lost, or worse, get hurt. But then she turns and yells at me, telling me to "stop following her". I obviously don't listen. She walks and I follow for about 15 minutes, then suddenly I see her make a phone call. I thought she was calling her mom, until I see red and blue flashing lights behind me.
She'd called the police on me.
She waved for them to stop, and they pulled over in front of her. She pointed at me in the car, then the cops came over to talk to me. They asked me to stay in the car, asked about my license and if I had any firearms in the car. I just raised my hands and said no. This is where things get ridiculous. They told me my wife said I was a stalker and that I had been following her for the past mile. I said I was her husband and that we'd had an argument and I was following her to make sure she was safe. The cops then went back to talk to her, and she started crying and yelling that I was an abuser and was stalking her as a way of controlling her. She threw herself to the ground and started flailing like she was possessed. One of the cops stayed with her while the other came over and asked me to get out of the car. He muttered an apology as he cuffed me. I was fucking pissed. They were arresting me? He apologized again and said something like "Standard procedure, just to be safe, buddy". He instructed me to sit down and not try anything funny, then he radioed it in while the other one helped my wife to the police car to sit. After about 15 minutes, another police car pulls up and they convene with my wife, while I'm just left to sit on the pavement. They discuss the matter further, then they come over to me and read me my rights. Now I'm pissed. I asked the police sergeant what the hell I was being booked for, and he said it was because my wife just accused me of domestic abuse and that she had been escaping. I try to explain what was going on, but the cop just shakes his head and tells me it'll be settled in a while. Then they put me in the car while my wife asks if she can go. One of the cops insists on giving her a ride home, and she nods and gets in the other car.
So yeah. I end up spending a night in jail, and my car gets towed and impounded. When the matter is cleared up in the morning, the duty sergeant tells me where to get my car, and that an investigating officer will be along to check the claims of abuse. I'm so tired at this point, I just nod my head and grunt. When I get my phone back, my parents are blowing my phone up. They'd been watching our kids last night and apparently my wife got home all dishevelled and dirtied, and unable to explain anything. I called my mom ASAP and explained everything to her. She was in disbelief too, but said she and dad would be ready to help with anything. She said the kids had been sent to school already, and that they didn't know anything. In fact, they'd been pretty excited to spend the night with grandma and grandpa.
I got back and saw my wife. I didn't say anything to her. She looked like she'd been crying all night. She followed me all round the house as I went to shower and grab a bite. I didn't say anything. When we were at the dining table, she said quietly, "Someone assaulted me." I just continued eating. Before last night? I'd have been hugging her and telling her it's ok. But after what happened? I'm finding it hard to feel sympathy.
I just asked who it was. She shook her head and asked why it seemed like I didn't care. I responded with "I don't know. Should I care?" I just left the dining room after that and went to crash on the bed.
tldr - AITAH for not giving a damn about my wife claiming she had been "assaulted" after she lied about me being a stalker and domestic abuser and got me thrown in jail for a night?
